ARRIVING AT THE CHAPEL

If you are a Cohan
We offer a private room for Cohanim, built as an independent structure. Windows look into the chapel and there is a speaker system, so you can feel part of the service, while respecting your obligations. The Cohanim room is reached through an entrance at the west side of the parking lot.

Parking


INSIDE THE CHAPEL FOYER


Kepahs, the skull caps worn by Jewish men to demonstrate their humility before G-d, will be available in the foyer. Men attending a funeral (whether Jewish or not) are asked to put one on before entering the funeral chapel. For women who choose, head covers are available.

INSIDE THE CHAPEL


When you enter, the casket will be at the front of the chapel, attended by a shomer. Shomers are observant Jewish men who sit with the body from time of death until the funeral, reciting psalms to protect and comfort the spirit of the deceased.

At Jewish funerals, there is no public viewing of the body. According to Jewish law, it would be deemed to be disrespectful.


The funeral service
A Jewish funeral service is quite brief, between 15 to 20 minutes. The service is usually presided over by a rabbi, accompanied by a cantor. There are three parts to the service. An opening psalm is chanted by the cantor. The eulogy is delivered by the rabbi and/or family and friends. The service concludes with the memorial prayer chanted by the cantor. The focus of the service is honouring the life of the deceased.

TO THE CEMETERY

The funeral procession
One of the 613 Mitzvot, or commandments, of Judaism is an obligation to accompany the dead to burial. This not only shows honour and respect for the person who died, but brings comfort and support to the survivors.

After the service, our staff will organize the cortège (procession) of cars, with the hearse and family limousines at the lead. Other cars will have had a funeral sign affixed to the hood when they arrived at the Chapel. While waiting for the procession to leave, you can obtain additional information from Benjamin's broadcast channel, by tuning your car's FM dial to 96.5.

You will be requested to put on your high beams and four-way flashers. If there is a police escort for the cortège, obey the police officers. Should you come to an unsupervised intersection, please obey all traffic laws. It is illegal to proceed through a red light unless there is a police officer directing you to do so.

Directions to Jewish cemeteries
For directions, please click on the appropriate cemetery name:

Bathurst Lawn Memorial Park 6033 Bathurst St. - (416) 223-1373 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Beth Tzedec Memorial Park 5822 Bathurst St. - (416) 665-3036 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Dawes Road Cemetery 3169 St. Clair Ave East - (416) 755-3411 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Holy Blossom Memorial Park 40 Brimley Rd. - (416) 261-2613 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Jones Avenue Cemetery 462 Jones Ave. View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Lambton Hills Cemetery Royal York Rd., (south of Eglinton) - (416) 398-0563 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

McCowan Road Cemetery McCowan Rd., (south of Eglinton) - (416) 789-3213 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Mount Sinai Memorial Park 986 Wilson Ave. - (416) 633-2200 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Pardes Chaim Cemetery 11818 Bathurst St. - (905) 884-1888 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Pardes Shalom Cemetery 10953 Dufferin St. - (905) 832-2549 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Roselawn Cemetery 619 Roselawn Ave - (416) 398-0563 View Larger Map Mapquest Directions

Inside Jewish cemeteries
The following information and maps are provided for your convenience. For view, please click on the appropriate cemetery name:

Bathurst Lawn Memorial Park 6033 Bathurst St. - (416) 223-1373

Benjamin's Park Memorial Chapel 2401 Steeles Ave. W. - (416) 663-9060

Beth Tzedec Memorial Park 5822 Bathurst St. - (416) 665-3036

Dawes Road Cemetery 3169 St. Clair Ave East - (416) 755-3411

Holy Blossom Memorial Park 40 Brimley Rd. - (416) 261-2613

Jones Avenue Cemetery 462 Jones Ave.

Lambton Hills Cemetery Royal York Rd., (south of Eglinton) - (416) 398-0563

McCowan Road Cemetery McCowan Rd., (south of Eglinton) - (416) 789-3213

Mount Sinai Memorial Park 986 Wilson Ave. - (416) 633-2200

Pardes Shalom Cemetery 10953 Dufferin St. - (905) 832-2549

Roselawn Cemetery 619 Roselawn Ave - (416) 398-0563

Graveside
You will be directed by Benjamin staff to park your car and to assemble behind the family limousine, so that the family and the casket can proceed to the grave first. You will then be directed to follow.

The casket will be lowered into the grave. At the graveside, the cantor will recite a psalm. Depending on the family wishes, you may be invited to help fill in the grave. The family will recite the Kaddish. The rabbi may make a brief address and the memorial prayer will be recited again.

Leaving the cemetery
After the burial, the family will walk between two lines formed by the community which offers a message of comfort originating in the time of the first and second Temples in Jerusalem: "May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." At that moment, there is a dramatic shift in attention from the body to the survivors.

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AT THE SHIVA HOUSE

Shiva, a tradition from Biblical times
The term "shiva" is derived from a Hebrew word meaning "seven". It refers to the seven-day period of mourning that takes place following a burial. During this period of time, family members suspend all worldly activities, and devote full attention to remembering and mourning the deceased. "Sitting Shiva" is a very old mourning practice in Judaism. The earliest mention of a seven-day period of mourning occurs in the Book of Genesis, where after Jacob's death, Joseph "made a mourning for his father for seven days" (Bereisheet/Genesis 50:10).

Shiva, a protective embrace
The purpose of shiva is to remind mourners that they are not alone in their grief; that through the ages others have experienced the pain of loss; and that there is a rich legacy of Jewish tradition which exists to offer them comfort and support.


Ritual handwashing
Before you enter the shiva house, you will wash your hands at a small washbasin set up for this purpose, because you have been in the presence of a dead body. This is done to symbolically remove spiritual impurity, not physical uncleanness.




Seven Tips for Seven Days
A guide for shiva visitors

One of the fundamental laws of Judaism is the obligation to bring comfort to mourners. How to bring comfort? The most common way is to visit the shiva house.

But once there, it can be difficult to know how to be a good guest what do you say? What do you do? It is understandable to feel uncomfortable: you want to help; you don't want to intrude, to do "the wrong thing."

From our more than 80 years serving grieving families, we have come up with the following seven tips to make shiva visits more meaningful for the visitor and the mourner alike. We hope you find them helpful.


1. Remember why you are there:
It is not always comfortable to pay a shiva visit, but as much as possible leave your own discomfort or anxiety outside. Consider your visit as a genuine, caring act for another human being.

2. Allow mourners the opportunity to express grief:

When communicating with mourners, be sensitive that this is their time for dealing with grief. Allow mourners to talk about and express their feelings of loss and the pain of separation from a beloved one. Do not attempt to change the topic or divert mourners from speaking about their painful feelings. If they wish to cry, allow them to do so, and do not attempt to stop tears with statements like, "be strong". Tears are not a sign of weakness; they are simply an indication of grief, and the shiva is the time for grief.

3. Listen:
It is helpful for mourners to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. When speaking with a mourner, listen completely to what they have to say. Ask questions that will allow them to talk with you about their grief, and be less concerned about giving them advice on what they should be doing. Above all, refrain from utilizing phrases like "time will heal" or "you'll get over it".

4. If you are not certain what to say - Be Silent:
People are often uncertain about what to say to mourners. Jewish tradition encourages that visitors remain silent and wait until the mourner speaks first. Often silence can be very healing and soothing to those in deep emotional pain. Be willing to simply sit in silence, perhaps holding the mourners hand, sharing a smile or simply communicating nonverbally your own concern and caring.

5. A shiva visit is not a social occasion:
A shiva visit is not an occasion for socializing. Visit with the mourners, offer your condolences, converse with the family members as appropriate, and prepare to take leave if your presence is no longer necessary for making a minyan or for offering any immediate assistance.

6. Be helpful to the mourners:
When you are at a shiva house, be sensitive to what is going on and see if there are ways in which you can offer assistance. Meals will need to be served to the mourners. Children have to be taken care of, or taken to and from school. The mourners may require shopping or other errands.

7. Offer mourners a traditional farewell greeting:
Upon leaving a shiva house it is customary to say to mourners: "HaMakom yenachem et'chem b'toch she'ar avelei Tzion vi'Yerushlayim" - "May the Lord comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."

Shiva reminds mourners that they are not alone in their grief; that through the ages others have experienced the pain of loss; and that there is a rich legacy of Jewish tradition which exists to offer them comfort and support in their time of grief.